Useful Suffering?
You have been asking "when will this end?" and I tend to jump to “why is this happening?” (I suppose addressing that there may be a purpose and I don't know when that will be fulfilled). He is conforming us to the image of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. God understands why you are saying enough is enough. You have suffered a lot. In Romans 8, Paul writes that all of creation is groaning. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us with sighs and groans as well.
Remember Lot, being grieved by the men of Sodom wanting to rape the angels God sent? At the same time he was bargaining with God to spare Sodom for the sake of a few righteous people. Remember the martyrs in Revelation who are asking for the end to come? However, God's plan and timing play out, and He limits the horrifying suffering to increments in the end times so that some do survive in each plague before the Final Judgment. He has always kept giving humanity a second chance so they can repent. He will ultimately bring a final, universal eradication of evil. There will be a reward at the appointed time for faithful witness.
Michael Gorman writes of the hope we have in Reading Revelation Responsibly. "Having a vision of a lovely city in Revelation 21.22 - 22.5 is a legitimate hope for liberation from poverty and oppression, and for the fullness of life as God intended it to be (Gorman, 2011)."
According to Karl Marx, "Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." I think that Karl Marx was talking about how religion (how we worship as a community) can relieve a lot of the pain you feel when you are suffering. Religion is meant to be life-giving as God intended it.
I am sorrowing that you are suffering.
At the same time, I want to celebrate several things. I notice how you thoughtfully (sometimes silently) challenge the people in your life to be more than they can imagine or hope for by themselves. I see the visible evidence of change in your body as a lifetime commitment to care for yourself. It shows that you are overcoming many obstacles to health and wholeness. That is inspiring and life-giving to the people around you, including myself. Love is a powerful force that will overcome all the temporary suffering of this world. No doubt God's love in magnitude and effectiveness overpowers evil. I am grateful for love and beauty - God's love endures forever.