Developing a Soulful Relationship: Reaching for Intimate Qualities of Friendships
Friendships are built on loyalty and presence. True friends are able to connect on a deeper level, even when they have different political views, opinions, or beliefs. A meaningful friendship allows you to share your values, feelings, struggles, hopes, and desires through open, honest conversations. In these relationships, you expect to be accepted and recognized for who you truly are.
The Role of Relationships in Shaping Identity
Our closest relationships help shape who we are. When a family member is also your friend, this becomes especially clear. Questions like "What is my purpose?" or "What is the meaning of my life?" are deeply connected to the relationships you form. The answers you develop, or the ones your friends help you discover, influence your sense of self and your spirit.
Reaching a Soulful Level of Friendship
One way to build a soulful relationship is by listening without immediately responding or interpreting what your friend says. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply listen in silence. In those moments, invite the Holy Spirit into the silence and ask, “How do you see me? And how do you see my friend?”
One of the greatest gifts in friendship is understanding the unique relationship your friend has with God. It’s about recognizing the inner struggles they face in choosing between God and other things that seem more appealing. For example, Jonathan, the friend of King David, had to choose between his family’s power and position or honoring his friendship with David and God’s plan for the next king. Ultimately, true pleasure and fulfillment come from intimacy with God, not worldly things.
Friendship and Your Relationship with God
How close are you to God? Do you actively seek answers to your questions by asking, knocking, and waiting for His response? It’s important to express your feelings to God, even if they seem wrong or confusing. In the Book of Job, for instance, Job was open and honest with God, saying things like, "I wish I had never been born" or "Death would be better than this." God wants us to bring all our feelings, doubts, and struggles to Him, just as we would with a close friend.
The way you relate to God will reflect in how you build and maintain other relationships, especially friendships. When you have a deep, intimate connection with God, it often makes it easier to have meaningful, supportive friendships.
Building Intimacy with God and Your Friends
Developing a close relationship with both God and your friends takes time and trust. The more you trust the right people with your thoughts and feelings, the deeper your connection will grow. God, as a three-in-one being, is a constant and confidential friend. Through the work of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, He can be your lifelong friend. You can learn more about God through His word in the Bible, and there are many apps that make it easy to start reading or listening to scripture today.
Need More Support from a Christian counselor in Denver?
If you need help in building lasting friendships and a deeper relationship with God, consider reaching out to your Christian counselor in Denver. Call 720-577-5571 or schedule a free 15 minute consultation for more support.
References:
Benner, David G. Care of the Souls: Revisioning Christian Nurture and Counsel (1998) Baker Books, Grand Rapids, MI.
Crabb, Larry. SoulTalk: The Language God Longs for Us to Speak (2003) Thomas Nelson, Nashville, TN.
Moore, Thomas. Soul Mates: Honoring the Mysteries of Love and Friendship (1994) HarperCollins Publishers, NYC, NY.
