Meaningful Friendship: Finding Quality Connections in a Digital Age
When you hit your 30s, you may have noticed your circle of friends got smaller. COVID-19 came and went, and some friends drifted away. Maybe you moved, changed jobs, or went through other major life changes. After the holidays, you went to the movies only to find the theater empty. Or maybe you attended an event where most of the guests were across town or from out of town. How do you build a community that helps you thrive?
Network in your circles of influence
One way to start is by connecting with people you already know—but one degree removed. It could be a friend of a friend, a family friend, or someone you know through your community. You never know when you might meet someone who shares your interests and wants to be part of your life. When you exchange phone numbers, make sure to call within a week. This is often easier when forming same-sex friendships.
If you're wanting a friend of the opposite sex, it can be a little trickier. You’ve already tried Bumble and Tinder, and the logistics of connecting for coffee seem awkward. It's easier to manage in a church setting, where the environment often feels safer for building friendships. Keep in mind that people may notice if a couple starts showing up at church together, and you will have more accountability in a small group. Sometimes, it’s better to volunteer at church and meet people while serving others.
If you’ve been at your church for a couple of years and haven’t made any real connections outside of Sunday services, it might be time to try a new church in your community. After all, what’s the point of commuting to a church if you're only involved in church-organized activities? It might be more enjoyable to get to know someone in your neighborhood—someone you might even run into at the grocery store, park, or local coffee shop.
Suggestions for Finding Community
Churches in Denver: Matt Johnson from Denver Insider has written a guide for those searching for a church. This includes churches from different denominations, some of which are not Christ-centered, like Universalist and Unitarian churches.
Try social hobbies - board games, language clubs, group trips on Meetup, dance classes, blue-grass jams at Swallow Hill
Volunteer Opportunities: Volunteering is a great way to meet people. Consider serving at a food bank, working with a homeless ministry, or getting involved with organizations like the Denver Institute for Faith and Work. You could also help others through organizations like Cross Purpose, which supports people restarting their lives.
For Those in a Relationship or Newly Married
If you’re dating or newly married, you might already be on your way to building a close friendship with your partner. Here are some ideas to strengthen your relationship:
Relationship Design: One way to improve understanding in your relationship is by using the Prepare Enrich Assessment. This tool helps you learn about the strengths and areas that need support in your relationship. It’s a great way to build a stronger, more committed connection. Ask your counselor for a login code to get started.
First Year of Marriage: The first year of marriage can be challenging as you learn to navigate life together. If you're feeling anxious or frustrated, it may help to take the Prepare Enrich Assessment, which guides you through growth and healing as a couple.
Make sure that you maintain healthy friendships with your unmarried friends. You will find yourself and your relationship stronger when you include the Lord and other people, especially fellow believers and maybe a spiritual director.
For more guidance call your Christian counselor in Denver at 720-577-5679.
