I Surrender

I surrender. What to or to whom? Understandably, during the Covid-19 pandemic, you may surrender at times to fear and sadness. Maybe anger and frustration are in the mix. Hopefully you are experiencing moments of being glad - enjoying life more. It may depend on your circumstances or your relationships. Maybe those things are grounded in your faith. 

We’re all seeking a new equilibrium. Things have changed and are changing day to day. The cracks in the surface of your life may be telegraphing. As one Catholic friend said, it’s a time of repentance. Another protestant friend is excited about the possibility of a worldwide revival for the Church. What better time to do some reflection on your own life.

Surrender has been a lifelong work for me. I’ve realized my desire to experiment with something other than God’s will for humanity and me personally since my high school days.Trying on different thoughts and behaviors in a safe place, as a counselor suggested to me a couple of decades ago, is quite different from doing that in real time. It took me to risky places where at times I wasn’t able to regain balance and lost ground.

So this morning, I finally came to a place of what felt like total, genuine surrender. Instead of feeling sadness at admitting my weakness, it felt like I finally had freedom. 

Being at the end of your rope can bring you to a positive surrender instead of a despairing surrender. I feel joyful!  I felt this unbelievable weight lift off of me - that those relationships that I would like to have restored, that are the most damaged and complicated, are not on my plate anymore. 

He whispered again to me, as he has in the last weeks, that His ways and thoughts are really a much better substitute for my ways and thoughts. 

God’s got this. Everything - the whole world and the entire universe is in His good hands. He is the “fount of every blessing.” May you get to that surrender place in your life. It is a safe place, not in the predictable/controlling way, but in the most exciting adventure of your life way!