Giving up match.com?
Singleness and solitude are not a curse! During this time of physical distancing in dating (including online dating) - the opportunity is here now to see God’s provision for your every need. This is a major reset. Simply give Him the credit He has always deserved. People on a worldwide scale have been forced to think about the risks they take when interacting with others up close vs. at 6’ away. Has your perspective changed on being sexually active, unwanted pregnancy, and risking your health? That alone is worth its weight in gold.
Ever since middle school, you have been trying to have a girlfriend or boyfriend just to prove something. What is it that you are trying to prove? That you’re good enough?
Maybe you have missed the boat. The boat that you were trying to catch when you first heard and accepted that you’re a sinner and that Jesus has already done the work that you could not do. You are now in Christ - our Father sees you as perfect and loves you like He loves his Son.
So what are the bonuses of singleness? I am going to begin a list for you of the privileges of being single:
Time alone to focus on being aware of the Lord’s presence - everywhere.
More opportunities to listen. Stress and problems make me more willing to pursue God.
More freedom to obey. No compromising or delay like when you’re part of a couple.
For now, you are more aware of where they put their hands.
To anyone who’s experienced traumatic events in their lives, it’s been a time of surfacing memories, triggers and the struggle with faulty coping mechanisms. You know, addictions of various sorts. It could be something like binging on Amazon Prime or Netflix. What do you do with your anxiety and depression? How do you soothe yourself? - TV, movies, online shopping; pornography; sex; gambling; gaming; hours of social media; overeating; overdosing on sugar, chocolate, or coffee; smoking, drinking, illegal or prescription drugs? How are those things working for you?
What about trying to talk to God about the source(s) of your anxiety and depression?
If you don’t think He cares or will do anything about your burdens; try getting to know him better by reading your Bible. Instead of starting with Genesis; go to John in the New Testament; or checkout a year through the Bible reading plan (Bible Gateway).
Just starting a list of God’s names in the Bible (i.e. Prince of Peace, Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, and Loving Father in Isaiah) can totally change your perspective about who this divine being is. Three persons - Father, Son (fully human and fully divine) and the Holy Spirit, one God.
Begin a new way of seeing - make a list of all the words and Scripture references of who you are and what you have in Christ (loved, cared for, joyful, etc.).
Do not give up on yourself or God. He will work through all the pain and problems and change you when you quit trying to do-it-yourself. He has factored in for all of your failures, from the beginning to the end of your life! That is grace.
Questions to reflect on this week:
Do you want to risk passing infection to vulnerable people?
Who is your core circle?
Who cares about sustaining you?
Do I care about my health?
How do I feel about dying?
The answers to these questions reveal how to love myself and my “neighbors.” Remember the Golden Rule that many learned during childhood comes out of the Scriptures. Love your neighbor as yourself. This time is an opportunity to put some meat on those bones.
