Covenant Forgiveness
What does covenant forgiveness mean? Simply put, forgiveness when you are in a covenant relationship, i.e. marriage or God’s covenant with the Jewish people and Christians. And what does a covenant relationship mean?
First of all let me tell you what it is not.
It is not a quid pro quo relationship, i.e. contractual, as in “I scratch your back, you scratch mine” or the way most people understand “an eye for an eye.”
It is not where rules are external.
Covenant forgiveness is a much higher level of moral development that happens after rules and human authority figures are internalized. It is achieved when social justice is painted broadly apart from human authority; beyond the democratic consensus of culture on what is right. Kohlberg calls it Stage 6, the Morality of Individual Principles of Conscience, the “highest stage” of moral development (Sigelman & Rider, 2011). Covenant relationships show unilateral and unconditional love.
As much as marriage is a reflection of God’s covenant with Christians, infidelity in our relationship with God and marriage is a huge obstacle. What the LORD showed through Jesus’ death and resurrection was not only forgiveness of sins, but his radical love that moves to level all walls between us (Eph. 2). He demonstrates covenant forgiveness as being unilateral and seated in the heart of the one who is offended.
And what is the primary work in the process of covenant forgiveness in counseling? The authors of Forgiveness Therapy (Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2000) explore two themes with clients – moral love and anger. Anger is the starting point and center for counseling. Anger can cause multiple mental disorders and relational conflicts. To begin, Enright and Fitzgibbons have clients uncover their hurts and help them deal with their emotional pain. They use experiential exercises for treatment and for relaxation, guided meditations. Forgiveness therapy can be the beginning of freedom from the simmering resentment, and of individual freedom and healing.
Next week I will break forgiveness (that leads to reconciliation in covenant relationships) into digestible bits.
Sigelman, Carol K. & Rider, Elizabeth (2011) Life-Span: Human Development, Mason, OH: Cengage Learning.
Enright, R.D. & Fitzgibbons, R.P. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
