Navigating Online Learning for Kiddos and Teens
Teachers are preparing for fall classes and so are you - but this fall it’s going to be online for your kiddos and teens. Recently I heard views from a panel of professionals who work with students speak on ways to maximize online education during Covid-19. Be encouraged. Although schools and your local church are on the other side of your laptop or phone, you are not alone. Teachers and counselors are becoming increasingly creative and they still care.
The challenges:
Anxiety was a given this year because of the presidential elections. On top of that, with the Covid-19 pandemic fallout, it can seem overwhelming at times. Anxiety is passed on from parents to kiddos and teens; they just naturally absorb what’s around them.
Messed up routines. While giving yourself some grace, most children function better with routines.
Feelings of confusion and uncertainty.
Access to teachers and schoolmates. Parents are the gateway. Sometimes kids and teens don’t log in. It is hard to get the attention of younger kiddos on Zoom.
Kids and teens are not necessarily connected to technology emotionally or physically. There is still a very real need for face-to-face, non-verbal contact in order to develop socially.
A real sense of grief and loss. There is a loss around rites of passage this year. Many high school graduates will be living at home this fall. Some will not be able to participate in campus life, or play college sports.
Many students and families have a smaller circle of support systems. It used to be that only one family needed help in the church context, now it is communal and global suffering.
See technology as a tool - so share the experience. Create a product (the experience) and then use technology to connect on the product, the experience. How to enhance tech connections:
Teachers can do homemade things for parents where parents take the lead.
Burnt-out parents need to do self-care.
Teachers or parents can give students something they can do on their own and parents can just take pictures.
Kids who struggle with social anxiety have thrived at home and online.
Find a balance and set boundaries for online time - take breaks and move.
Parents know the baseline for their kiddos better than anyone. What should adults look for as stress indicators:
Kiddos are good at saying that something is off - i.e. a bad dream, feeling in the tummy, they have the blues.
With teens - be interested, not interesting. Red flags - stealing, lying, defiance increasing arguments.
Take a note of red flags - take a deep breath, engage, admit that you can’t fix the loss of schedule, playmates, etc.
Understanding
Don’t over react.
Special needs kids: As with all children and teens, include them in sibling and neighborhood block activities.
How to make meaning of challenges:
Reframe the circumstances - Is success the goal, or is it perseverance? Maybe the aim can be to exercise faith, loving people and loving God?
Adolescents ask identity questions more - losing connection to an activity you’re gifted in can be devastating. Start with empathy. We all need to feel heard and known. Remember what your parents used to say, “The struggle can make you better.” Tell your teens what the ingredients are that make them good at what they do well. Tell them “You are still you, you are not the activity you do.
Tell your kids and teens - “You got this.”
When difficult things happen:
Start with empathy - pick up the young child. For teens, let them know they are heard and known.
Let them ask questions.
Don’t over explain.
Everyone needs to play. Food is play for teens, video games and legos for kiddos.
LImit the news.
Families can be under-resourced because of tech, special needs, sports, arts, and after school activities. Some ways of coping can be:
Network with other parents - maybe even parents from other schools.
Pay attention to your kids.
A bit of transparency. Model how you overcome. Grieve the losses.
Churches, blocks, neighborhoods, and nonprofits are organizing drives for diapers, coats, warm clothing and food.
Ask for help - from the church, school district. There are resources out there.
Due to a serious lack of funding and effective training, many schools are struggling to successfully meet the needs of their communities. At least one grad level counseling program in Denver is doing a research project on this topic - to address the challenges students face brought on by Covid-19. Please see the following website for more information, https://denverseminary.edu/school-counseling-mental-health-initiative/.
This summary came from notes on a panel discussion organized and held by Denver Seminary the first week of August 2020.
