Feeling fragmented from trauma? Finding your self in the pain and anger.
You feel lost, your own mom does not recognize the person you’ve become. But she understands what happened to you and doesn’t blame you. Others are not so accepting. You’re managing yourself 50% of the time instead of getting important and urgent things done; sometimes it’s slogging thru the day in slow motion; trying to calm yourself and focus even though you’re feeling so ADHD.
It feels like it’s going to take years to get back to a self you can embrace; the self that that others loved and were proud of. The person that bonded to people has vanished. Now you manage family and work life. People around you demand you stuff all those negative feelings and be happy.
You work out your anxiety out through movement but you can’t move enough. Falling asleep is hard; staying asleep long enough is even harder. You’re exhausted from pacing, spinning and walking.
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Be still. Let’s go to the basics of trauma treatment. Grounding others is a technique used by first responders at the scene of an accident, death, disaster or shooting to bring people back into the present and a sense of safety. You can do this for yourself.
Mental Grounding*
Sit down in a safe place. A place where you would feel safe even with your eyes closed. This could be your bedroom, bathroom, car, a quiet spot in an art museum, hospital chapel, church, or library.
Start by reminding yourself your are safe; today is _______, and you here in _______ at _______(address).
Imagine a buffer between you and all your negative feelings.
Imagine your negative feelings bundled up and put in a container.
Next think of something you can put between you and that container of negative feelings. Maybe it’s a wall, a suit of armor, or a big open field.
Now let’s focus on the room.
Look around and name as many colors as you can.
Then name as many objects as you can.
How many windows, look outside, what’s the weather like? Good.
Is there any art? Choose one piece and describe it, not judging, just describing colors, shapes, content, composition. Excellent!
What color(s) are the carpet, the floor, the walls?
How many doors?
Is the light white - fluorescent or yellow - incandescent?
Do you see any words printed in the room. Read each letter of each word backwards, as if your seeing each letter for the first time ever. Terrific!
Next try naming some cities, as many cities as you can name. Then sports teams, then TV shows.
Think about the most soothing favorite place you have in your mind; go back to that place in your mind as you move thru your day (Soothing Grounding blog in two weeks).
Is your body still feeling rattled; try googling Body Scan on YouTube or get the Insight Timer app (it’s free) and find a free meditation that appeals to your current emotional needs or state of mind.
Keeping it simple. See you next week Thursday!
Peace and grace,
Tania
Begin trauma treatment in the central Denver today.
If you are ready to start recognizing your anger as a signal of unmet needs, call 720-577-5985 or schedule online for a free 15-minute consultation. For more about trauma therapy in central Denver look here. You can also find more at my contact and home page.
*Taken from Seeking Safety by Lisa M Najavits (Guilford Press 2002).
